My mental load has been feeling really heavy lately.
I’m in this stage of life that most people go through at some point, where life is completely hectic and chaotic. I run from one thing to the next. I have to juggle a family, a full time career, a household, a budget, dogs, a social life, a pregnancy, an exercise routine, and time for hobbies like reading, writing, and movies.
It’s a lot. I find myself increasingly overwhelmed and stressed because all of these things are important to me. None of them are things that I can or will sacrifice, either because I don’t want to, or I simply cant.
So I do a lot of running around from thing to thing, then I get home from all of the craziness, and I’m greeted by clutter and more chaos. It makes me uneasy and anxious. Toys are strewn everywhere. Books, clothes, trinkets. Dirty dishes, laundry, and dog hair have become my new decor. Try as we may, the house is never clean to our satisfaction. Much of the weekend is devoted to scrubbing, and tidying, and putting away. Then it’s all undone again the next day. We can’t keep up. There seems to be no solution.
Except there might be a solution: less stuff. Less stuff in the house means less stuff to clean, put away, and constantly organize.
A couple of years ago, you might remember I started the process of de-cluttering a bit. Instead of calling it minimalism though (because let’s face it, I will never be a minimalist – I collect too many things), let’s call it “simplifying.” So, I started simplifying by wiping out almost my entire wardrobe and starting from scratch. But then I bought and bought and bought in order to replenish, and now I have more clothes than I did when I started.
Progress be gone.
I also began the process of sorting through items to donate and throw away. I was feeling pretty good about my progress and got rid of a lot of stuff.
But then I started collecting more things: a Halloween village, more wax warmers, more wax, candles, hand soaps. Caleb got more toys. We somehow accumulated more stuff than we got rid of.
While I constantly have a couple of boxes that I’m actively working on filling for the Goodwill (right now, I have three full boxes of clothing, books, and other things to donate), it’s never enough to make a noticeable difference. I feel great when I add an item to the box, or throw out something we no longer need, but it’s not substantial enough. My house still seems to be overflowing. There still seems to be “stuff” everywhere I look. Why?
The truth is that it’s hard to let go of our “stuff” that we’ve been surrounding ourselves with. Despite the chaotic feeling it all gives me, it somehow gives me comfort, too. I see my books and I know that I’m surrounded by a thousand different worlds, characters that will become friends that I just haven’t encountered yet. I see my old greeting cards and keepsakes, and I remember so many good times and memories with loved ones. How do I let some of that go? I know that at the end of the day though, I will find more comfort in a more simplified home than the small comforts I find in owning too many possessions. To not see messes and piles of stuff everywhere I turn will give me a larger sense of peace than any item I’ve been hanging onto ever will.
No, I am not going to give up all of my things. I get joy from my Halloween village, from my books, from some of my clothes. I love melting wax (though I have too much), enjoy our horror movie collection. I won’t give up things that bring me happiness or that I use. Some of my sentimental items have TOO much meaning and are too close to my heart to get rid of though (like greeting cards from my Papa who passed away… I want to see his signature whenever I want to). Some of my books, I really DO want to read. I think it’s important to separate the important items from the clutter though. The clutter that is old purses, mismatched socks and tupperware, clothes that I don’t love and feel confident in, books that I will never get to (though it pains me to say). Basically, stuff that I’ve simply been “storing” in my house for no good reason, as the quote above reminds me of. Why store a million books or a thousand hand soaps in my home? My home is for living in. Stores are for storing in… so when I need more of those things, I can simply go pick some up. We need room to live in. The storing of things needs to stop… so where do I go from here?
Though I’ve been gradually working on it over the last couple of years with a few boxes of items to donate here and there, I need to finally dig my feet in and get real. I’ll struggle the most with books and sentimental items, so I’ll probably leave those for last. For now, I’ll start easy. I will de-clutter and simplify the kitchen again. I’ll sift through the many boxes of stuff in our laundry room from when we moved. From there, I hope I’ll have the motivation I need to tackle the harder things.
I will never be a minimalist, no doubt. Though I envy those who keep their homes clutter free, clean, stark, white, and beautiful, that will never be me. I get joy from some of my collections and knick knacks, and I think that’s okay. What’s NOT okay is for me to hold onto things that serve no real purpose other than to stress me out. Despite not being a minimalist, I can still use some of their techniques and ideas to simplify my home and mind. For me, that’s what it’s really all about: the mental benefits I will reap when I look around and see less clutter and more calm. I need to feel more at peace, more relaxed, and less anxious.
I need to free myself from the chaos in the clutter.
This post will serve as the “kick off” to a new series I’m working on called The Clutter Chronicles where I work my way through different areas in my home and various collections. I think it’ll help keep me moving. Coming up soon will be my biggest problem areas and what we have too much of, followed by some of my mental roadblocks and the benefits for me that simplifying will bring.
Do you have any tips to help get me started and help keep me motivated?
