I used to feel ashamed that I stayed.
So many old classmates up and left after high school: for greener pastures, for bigger cities, for warmer weather. They left for jobs and love and sometimes just a desire to start over, get a fresh start, make their own name and own way.
But I never left. I stayed in the same town, shop at the same stores, eat at the same restaurants. I find memories of the old days everywhere I turn, pass by my old schools weekly, and know this place by heart.
I used to think it made me a failure, as if leaving held the keys to success.
As if you can’t be successful, or happy, right where you are.
Then I started to realize that I really just want a simple life. It doesn’t make me boring or dull or a failure. I followed a linear timeline straight out of the textbooks — I finished high school, then college, then graduate school. After that I got married, bought a house, and had babies. But what’s so bad about that? Bad about settling down? Bad about knowing what — and where — home is?
I don’t crave adventure. I don’t need a fresh start. I am not a world traveler and I like my life just fine right here.
What I crave are roots that are deep. That are planted and then not uprooted for restlessness, or adventure, or something new. Those roots are important to me. I don’t need to freewheel my way through the world so I can find a place to land. I’ve already landed, right where I started.
Another thing I’ve realized more and more the older I get is the significance of family. My family is here. Aren’t they everything? We can be at my parent’s house, my brother’s house, my aunt’s house in ten minutes or less. I can be at either of my best friend’s doors in 20. These people? They are the limbs of the tree that we planted. They are part of our roots. Their limbs protect us, hold us, surround us when we need… and isn’t that really all we need? Not only a place to call home, but people to call home, too.
I don’t mean we will never move. In fact, my biggest goal right now is for us to buy a new house in the next few years. But what I mean is that this place, our city, our family… those are our roots.
With roots planted firmly in the ground, we will never stray far from either.
